Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Letter "F"

So was @ work earlier on today and my work buddies and I were chatting about how Ghanaian women like the Letter "F"

So we came up with a couple off things like:

1. Most if not all Ghanaian women like or are looking for someone who will "Finance" stuff for them

2. Ghanaian women like "Free" stuff

3. Ghanaian women really enjoy using this phrase "Fa ma me" or "Fa ky3 me" (Give it to me and the literal translation for Fa ky3 me is Dash it to me)

4. She will call you and tell you she is hungry lets go and buy "Food"

5. Most Ghanaian women if not all, like guys who will take them out to eat "Fried " rice @ a Chinese restaurant.

6. On the way back from the restaurant she will tell you to get one for her "Friend" that's if

7. She didn't already ask you when you were leaving for the restaurant if her "Friend" could tag along.

8. If you are lucky she will ask you for desert, and she will want "Frankie's" ice cream

9. She might even ask you for money to buy "Fone" credits

10. She is like I would really appreciate it if you got me this "Furniture"

11. Most of them if not all are very "Feisty"

12. If you are not lucky she might make a "Fool" out off you.

The only thing that begins with "F" they don't want to her is

AFTER DINNER LETS GO TO MY ROOM AND F**K

Do you know off anything beginning with F that women like?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Sugar Mummy:We all need one!!

So guess you are wondering why chose this for my new post huh?
So i was talking to my friend about how Ghana make hard(meaning things are difficult in Ghana) and also the Ghanaian ladies are not helping. Even though they know that things are difficult now that's when they keep asking their bf's to buy them stuff. So my friend was like he's just met this Sugar Mummy (older women) who is willing to assist my friend if you know what i mean.

So a Sugar Mummy is an Older Woman who offers money or gifts to the young boy/man in exchange for companionship or sexual favours. by Barima Kwaku Osei Kwakye

Other defintions are:


1.Honey Mummy is an older woman who provides for younger boys/men. by urban dictionary

2.Cougar is female, usually between thirty to fifty years old who enjoys the sexual company of a younger man. urban dictionary

3. Puma is a woman in her thirty's who dates younger men. she's often considered a cougar-in training. by wikipedia.org

4. Gyaku-enjo-kosai is the opposite of enjo-kosai which is a Japanese practice where older men give money and other luxury gifts to attractive women for their companionship and possibly sexual favours. by wikipedia.org

Back to my story.... My friend was like uh huh!!! got it now!! .. so he went to a bar and met some fine woman sitting there sipping on a drink and he decided to chat her up. His intention was to hit and get out as fast as he could so he wouldn't spend money. Little did he know that he had stumbled on a GOLD mine. Now the Gold is not just about money, meaning he had gotten two things for the price of one.
1. Having sexual relations with a H.O.T.T woman on a regular with no pressure
2. Yea this where the money comes in.  A spending allowance to make the guy look "Legen---dary" like Barney Stinson(from How I Met your Mother) will say.

So I started asking myself these Questions
1. Wouldn't it be nice to go out once in your Life time with a girl that:
a. is not expecting you to pay for dinner etc
b. pays for her cab fare
c. buys her own credits

2. Where do you find Sugar Mummies?
I was reading a piece on askmen.com about sugar mummy's and in the article they said they best places to scout for sugar mummies is @ charity benefits, auction houses etc... but in Ghana I'm wondering where you would have to go to meet lovely Older Women

a. La Palm(The Casino)
b. GoldenTulip (The Casino)
c. Citizen K
d. Polo Club

I guess if it were me this is where i would scope out. Do know off any places that i should add?

3. So What to Say/Do to get the Sugar Mummies attention?

 I guess first you should look the part. Guys with grown ass faces better shape up so you like a (teletubie).
AskMen. gives a couple of pointers:
a.You must physically look good. I totally agree. sugar mummies are likely to want a six-pack or hard tummy and not a 1 ball if you know what I mean.
b. You need to dress to impress. It doesn't have to be any fancy label but at least what you wear should get you a second look. Well that's my opinion.
c.You need to show your youthful side whilst not letting yourself appear to be foolishly young . This may highlight the fact that she is older.
d. You have to invest a little to get a little. Do buy her an expensive bottle of wine or a cocktail

4. So What to Talk about?

What are you gonna say? Definitely you can not talk about Independence Day cos clearly she saw it happen and you only read about it years later. lol!!!!
but seriously what do you say to a potential Sugar Mummy?
Here are a couple of things
a. Don't talk about her money or money in general
b.Comment on her beauty and try and make her feel like she needs a guy like you in her life
c. Listen to her talk and try and relate to stuff she says so it kinda feels to her that you are in sync.
d. Whatever you do, don't bore her talking about yourself all the time cos if she was into you in the first place and you pull the I stunt she will lose interest super quick.
e.Try and look up some intellectual conversation topics just in case your potential Sugar Mummy is book long.

5. How to Seduce Her?
   a. I guess you don't have to. Leave it all up to her I guess
   b. any suggestion?


6. Do you really have to maintain the relationship?
    a. Yes
    b  No.
if a. why?? and if b. why?


7. Dangers to Avoid
   There are lots ofthings to avoid. Like the some Ghanaian movie I watched sometime back..
 a. She might Juju you(Thats if you believe in superstition)
 b. She might you arrested, if you make any plans of leaving her b4 she dumps you
 c. She will pour Acid on any girl that enjoys her money through you ie: even if the girl doesn't know she's spending 'Sugar mummy money'.
 d. Any ideas?


Something to think about:

1. According to the Biography Chanel UK
   a. A quarter of british married women are hitched to younger men

2. According to BBC,
  a The proportion of  brides in England and Wales marrying a younger man rose from 15% to 26% in the years 1963 to 1998.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Mtv Africa Music Awards



THE ROAD TO M.A.M.A: GHANA

Wow I can't believe it's finally here, Mtv Africa Music Awards. The train is almost here all aboard.
Yes most def, I will be there 35Ghana cedis
@ Citizen Kofi
Picture by:http://www.enjoyaccra.com/enjoy%20by%20night/files/citizen_kofi_entertainment_building.jpg
picture by:http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=2247256&id=95387005508

Chale but in these "Ecomoniscious times" like my boss always says i would have to tighten my belt. But I guess it's a small price to pay for an experience of a life time.

Question: Is there a way one could win free tickets to go see the M.A.M.A is Kenya? Seriously I need an answer.

Been dreaming about attending the M.A.M.A for a while now.

SO WHAT TO EXPECT AT THE M.A.M.A TRAIN

1. Sarkodie:
Government Name: Micheal Owusu
Songs: Baby, Alter , Boga , Yahu mu



2. Richie
Government Name: Richie Mensah
Songs: Frema, When I get to you girl, More of that



3. Wande Coal:
Government Name: Wande Ojosipe
Songs: Bumper 2 Bumper, You bad , Ololufe
Affiliates: D'Banj, Naeto C, Ikechukwu, Sid-Da Prince , Don Jazzy, K-switch


4. Others: Lovely women and drinks(Absinthe)

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THE CROWD

I know i'll be jumping up and down like a kid with a new toy.For the rest of Ghana and I do not know, I hope it doesn't end up like the Ghana Music Awards (G.M.A's)

Can you believe the my Gh peeps @ the G.M.A's

D'banj
picture by:http://www.mytruspot.com/image.php?mode=band_image&band_id=2544


Naeto C
picture by: http://ladybrillemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/Naeto-C.jpg


Ikechukwu
picture by:http://b6.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/01037/65/46/1037326456_l.jpg



and Wande Coal came to perform some hot tunes from their individual albums and the audience are all standing there like ooh ok what F*** is going on. The only time when the crowd looked lively was when D'banj sang "Fall in love" and Naeto C and Ikechukwu did "Wind am well and Kini Big Deal" The crowd showed no appreciation for Wande Coal.

I guess now everybody knows Wande Coal "The guy who sang bumper 2 bumper" so the crowd would get of their asses and dance or something, but wait so will he only perform that song for Ghanaians , what about all the other songs on he's made like Ten Ten, You Bad , Ololufe etc What will the crowd do... just stand there like mannequins, I know i'll be rocking hard cos i know these songs but what about the million people that will be @ Citizen K.

Please GH don't make this event flop.
Plus we need to show the rest of Africa and the World that we ROCK!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Waakye Party "Sunday"

I know I know that I have to write the PAYOLA piece I'll get to it.

So my weekend was great… mmmmhhh!!! Fun, nothing really extra-ordinary but the best part of it was when I heard there was going to be a Facebook Waakye Party on Sunday.



For those of you in the dark, Waakye is a popular Ghanaian dish often eaten as breakfast or lunch. It’s made by boiling rice and beans together (with a great plant dye to make it all pretty). The U.N has hailed it as a combination that can help stamp out malnutrition from the world. Info from: "http://www.africanfoods.co.uk/waakye.html"

So a couple friends and I or is it and Me...lol!!!! brofo y3 den!!!! (English is hard) literal translation but you guys get what I mean.

Well so we decided to get some waakye and see what the whole Facebook waakye was about.... but before I forget Big Ups to Auntie Muni... I miss my days in Labone but I still stay true though I'm no longer in the area.

We get there about 11:30am, trying to get there early so we don't encounter long lines and also beat the peeps coming from church. Smart huh!! Now you know I didn't go to church...

Thinking we would be there early, imagine my surprise to find that the place was filled up almost to the Tullow office in the area, so we had to park around there. The waakye line was also long but eventually it got to our turn.

Wow!!!! I have not seen so many people at one place all going to eat waakye or so it seems.





Any way it turned from a waakye eating activity to a regular Ghanaian drink-up/ party with "waakye "being used as an excuse... very smart idea!!!



I totally get them cos most or every-Sunday schedule in Ghana is the same :( one-way) for everyone:
1. wake-up
2. clean, bath and iron for church
3. church
4. home for lunch
5. fellowship/ youth meeting / sleeping
6. iron for school/work
7. watch a movie
8. sleep

If your schedule is different good for you.

but basically you get what i'm driving at..so i guess it wasn't a bad idea to put some spice in our "boring" Sunday lives.

So what will They think of next? Facebook Omotuo party or Facebook Fufu eating party?!!!!!!

:)